PVR Opinions (Day Old Reviews)

I'm 44 and I like Pop Stars

2007-12-22T14:24:00.000-08:00

I am sympathetic to that YouTube Chris guy who briefly got famous by posting a rant with a cry about leaving Britney Alone. I kind of agree. But she confuses me, because it would be easy for Britney to go away if she really wanted to.

Her lyrics seems to say one thing. Her actions, another, and the media a third. They're all different and I don't know who Britney is.

I used to think she was a cute teenager who got on Disney's Mickey Mouse club, and was popular enough to go on to be a pop success... I didn't care if it was her choice, or her stage mother's choice. I liked her beats and her looks and I was a fan.

I'll admit I had stopped buying CD's by that stage in my life, way outside her key demographic, but my MP3 player had her hits and I'd listen to them when nobody was watching. I'd seen her videos too.

Some of her lyrics seemed to hint that she was being controlled and living a life not really her own, as I know many Pop stars complain of. She tried a few different styles and we were led to believe she was given a little more creative freedom.

I still liked her music.

Then the wedding thing, followed by a number of other crazy stunts and I defended her in my own mind as a smart girl who's decided to go the Madonna route and stay in the press through antics beyond the music. As it started to get a little crazier I realized it was an addiction, and she transitioned from Maddona style publicity to Michael Jackson style. People started calling her crazy... but they still bought the albums or downloaded the hits.

Britney still held top 10 positions on Google's most searched list. Her movies tanked and people started to dislike her publicly.

For somebody born and bread as America's sweetheart, that must have hurt... but somebody told her no publicity is bad publicity, so she started marrying people, hunting for a reality show, and desperately showing us she was just a home town country gal... almost hickish.

I still wanted to give her the benefit of being smart, and designing the press... but it was hard.

I'm 44 and none of my friends listen to top 40 radio. Obviously they know Britney, which is the plan, but they know her as a crazy now, and couldn't name a song since OOPS I DID IT AGAIN.

Her recent album has new lyrics that hint she's unhappy. Her actions seem to hint that she's so troubles she's testing the waters and looking to be arrested. She's like a depressed non famous person who may resort to cutting or hurting themselves for attention, except she's got the attention... just nobody to talk to and be friends with.

Britney has no community support it seems, and so she's a lose 16 year old in an adult's rich body. She may welcome death or jail some days... and yet, if three days go by without being talked about, so goes out and flashes her Va-j-j to the press or crashes her car.

Its hard to understand.

Her new album isn't poppy or upbeat. Its ballads on Top 40 so far (just two singles so far) but I miss the old Britney who made me toe tap and bop and dream of being her boyfriend.

I want to go on YouTube and scream LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE but I fear if we ever do, she'll just go out and do something worse. We can't leave her alone. She needs a friend.

I no longer thing it should be me... I've seen she's not my idea match on her reality show, and her choice of second husband... but it should be somebody.

Maybe Nick Lache can help her.

Anyway... enough ranting... I'll unpause my SPICE GIRLS reunion show on TV and continue watching British Pop Stars who are a little more grounded... if I am to believe.

And I always like to believe.

---

Voice credits before the movies? Let me ponder.

2007-04-06T01:24:00.000-07:00

I was just about to watch a DVD of Over the Hedge, when I was inspired to press PAUSE and take note.

The movie is animated, but for the first time that I noticed, the voice actors are listed up front, like a regular movie.

It took me back at first.

I was impressed with some of the big names, and every name on screen as familiar.

AT first, I had to decide if I liked it.

On the one hand, I can see myself waiting in anticipation to see who William Shatner voices... or Avril Levine.

But then I remembered that enjoyment I get out of figuiring out who a voice actor is. It's half of what I enjoy about these movies. It's my A.D.D sub plot that keeps both of my attentions on the same goals.

I will now unpause, and see how it effects my enjoytment of the film.

UNPAUSE

I think I like the remedial version of my game. I still get to delight in figuring out voices, I just have a preset list to choose from.

It makes it easier

THE CLASS, as a starting line.

2007-03-02T12:25:00.000-08:00

I feel like an episode of WHO'S LINE IS IT ANYWAY. I enter a title in the blogger box above, of the name of the TV show I have just opaused to start writing. I know, that by the time I have started, this essay will be about a subject almost unrelated in any way to THE CLASS, but it's my starting line. Then, just before I begin to type about a commercial I witnessed while watching, I start to write about Who's Line Is It Anyway.

So... the real first paragraph should have been:

I was watching THE CLASS off PVR right now. Since episode 1, I've preferred the sassy one. Her character is evolving more than some of the others so far this season. In any case, I just saw a commercial for THE CLASS while watching it, and the CTV promo photo of the cast has her with much much lighter hair. It took me a milisecond extra to identify her.

I thought to myself; wow. It must suck to be a celebrity, at least in that regard. From what I know of people, and of celebrities as a sub class, the majority of us don't like watching ourself, or seeing ourselves. It's a frozen time machine example of zero control. We can't change it, and everybody is seeing it.

Instead of living life, we're watching it as a spectator, and it's hard.

As a celebrtity, you just have to learn to cope, ignore, or get out of the business. You can't watch a 10 second TV promo and freak out because you look ugly.

Even if you do.

Even if I'm sitting next to you, and I turn to you and say; Wow. You looked ugly in that.

Its hard. I'm trying to do some videos for my carreer and web site and I think my lesson should be; don't watch them. In much the same way I seldom re-read and prood and edit my blogs, I don't think my videos can be watched by me. If I see them, I'll want to edit or redo. I'll want to capture back the control.

Nothing will ever get done.

End of Part 1.
Unpause.

Smoking is still cool. Tv Tells me so daily.

2007-02-24T15:05:00.000-08:00

I was watching this week's episode of LAS VEGAS just now. I just saw sweet Mary, who they're hardening up this season, smoking.

Her ex boyfriend, she show's white hunk said it was ok, because she was stressed.

I call the age card again, and start rambling like the grey haired father figure I made fun of when I wasn't one of them.

TV is still teaching us it's OK to smoke, and I believe somebody is behind it, on purpose.

Remembering a movie called WAG THE DOG, I wondered how the smart people would pull it off. They WAG THE DOG. It's an old trick. Change the news.

Britney Spears had to shave her head to get the news to shut up about Anna Nicole Smith.

We've heard a lot about product placements again in history. Commercials in the show, as some would describe. When done right, they make a show more believable, because no kid ever asked for a Cola. Kleenex and Hoover and windbreaker and elevator are all brand names we use in life like the product name. TV's just letting characters use brand names.

But when they up it a notch, and start talking like commercials, then we notice, and lose realty for a moment. The Zeppelin.

MAD TV has the most obvious product placement sketches among the shows I watch. I havn't decided whether they do it so blatent it's part of the joke, or whether they're just whores for free Yaris 4 doors for the staff.

I'd like mine in orange. The frequent mentions of Yaris wouldn't be so bad, because I sincerly believe Yaris owners probably do refer to it by name. Some cars you call cars, and some you call Keep, or Caddy or Corvette or Yaris.

The odd part is when MAD TV starts spewing about it's luxury features like they mixed up their cue cards with a dealer brochure. I know more about Yaris than I needed to.

I'm thinking of buying one. How did that happen?

But back to the topic I started with... TV has shown me it's a good idea to have some ciggarettes in my pocket or purse, or under my t shirt sleeve if I were to be so inclined to choose that atire. They're still bad, but everybody lets you smoke when bad things are happening to you. Then it's OK.

I wonder what the executive meeting with the writers was all about. Studio 60 has taught me that anybody can talk to anybody about anything in the real world. Did anybody try for ciagette use by the main characters in a positive situation was the opening bid, and this was what everyone settled on.

The ciagette lobby has always accepted that brand recognition and publicty are not always related. In the brand recogniotion game, no publicty is bad publicty, and such, maketing does care about image... it just cares you know it's name.

People buy brands they know are big. If you smoke to fit in, you don't buy independant brands. You buy what everybody else buys.

We know, through pop culture axioms, coke is #1 and Pepsi is #2. We know McDonalds beats Burger King. We do not however hear so much about who's #1 in smokes. But you can believe they do. Then again, maybe it's as obvious as Coke, but I just am out of the loop. I never smoked.

Not cigarettes anyway, he said with a TV style wink. A drum roll was noticable absent.

I need a drumroll and a rim shot on a button. My life would be better with a laughtrack. I am often the punchline guy.

SNAP BACK

The summary closing, that cigarette companies could have started paying or rewarding in some way, writers for including references to smoking again. Pop cul;ture needs to be smoking on TV.

On the one hand, it would be more realistic. Successful "Hot" men and women in the real world do smoke. So do many of the less-hot people in everyday life, although on TV, less of them smoke. The lower class always smoke on TV.

In order to lessen the complaints of the vocal few who love to complain. Give them a one two punch, although that is a horrible anaolgy for this.

West Wing taught me the technique. Use the news. Hide stories behind big stories.

Oh look, A Zeppelin.

UN-PAUSE

Survivor controls it's Universe

2007-02-22T17:35:00.000-08:00

Reality shows are not reality. That's not a new statement by any means. However, it's neat to see how a network or producer can make good TV, and stay within the confines of what they call reality. They don't script things, and they claim to not change the outcome, but they can change the rules.

A food competition for a tribal council challenge with one group that hasn't eaten in four days or more seems like a bit of an edge. The luxury, full and content team may not be as motivated. They've won two or three weeks in a row.

I don't mind. I like good TV. I'm not even sure how I'd feel if I found out the whole thing was scripted. To me, good TV is more important. I watch Survivor because I believe these are real people, and I'm fscinated at how the interact. I fast forward through the challenges sometimes, and listen to the personal interaction parts.

I love watching people be themselves, and surprise.

I don't so much need to watch them eat pig snouts.

As it turns out, they didn't win. The same teams loses again, back to back to back. It changes the game again. Still good TV, but you start to worry. If the underdogs don't win, you'll soon be wishing it was scripted.

I'm not saying misery isn't good TV, it's just not good TV over and over and over again. There is only so mucg we can watch. The underdog should rise. That's what we expect. We won't like reality TV if it seem to unreal.

The editors work overtime. I keep watching, season after season.

---

Star Trek First Contact - with Billy Bob Thorton

2007-02-22T15:24:00.000-08:00

I haven't seen it. I've only seen the commercials.

It seems like the new movie The Austronaut Farmer seems like the story of First Contact, the Star Trek movie that tells the history of the first warp flight into outyer space. It almost looks the same. A farmer builds a rocket in his barn.

I wonder what other Star Trek stories I could change and retell. After all, many of those stories are from other stories, and many of those are from the Bible.

Things that go without saying should be said more often, and we need to retell our stories.

It's Your Fault

2007-02-20T16:11:00.000-08:00

Every time I hear somebody on TV hiccup, I wonder if the writers have seen my web site. I have a hiccup cure listed, and for a while, I was #1 on Google. It's free and easy and works really well for about 80% of the people who try it. It's lost ground to less successful cures that cost money, because that's how the Internet works sometimes.

The other source of pride from my web site is my invented childhood game. It's called IT'S YOUR FAULT and it has a small following of fans who may play it a few times, and then give it up. I do however, sometimes fantasize that it could be a popular game through time.

Today, I saw it played on TV, but characters from a popular prime time network sitcom.

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER played my game today. To be fair, this is a stretch, fabricated by pride in my own mind. They didn't play my game as much as I dream.

They just wrote an episode by taking a fault, and progressivly, almost in tern, tell detailed stories of how this faul;t could not have occured, if it were not for - followed by passing the blame to somebody else. First, it wasn't my fault, it was Barney's fault, because he ran the Boston Marathon. Then it was Marshall's Fault because he bet Barney he couldn't do it, and then it was her fault, and then his fault, and then this guy pushing the airport luggage carts.

On an on with no repetition or craziness. They followed all the rules expect they had to actually say what it was that happened, but I forgive artistic licence.

I wonder if they visited my web site.

Pride Beats Shame, hands up!

Prepping Us

2007-02-06T16:41:00.000-08:00

I used to dream of a scenario where aliens had landed in Roswell, or before. I used to think; how would the world be different, if that were the truth. Then, I look for signs in society that hint that it may be, using this story.

The way the people who know the secret, prepair the world for the time when they can admit it.

Fiction and history have shown us time and time again that we're not good at handling such drastic change. We need to believe in our various Gods and explanations for how the universe works. We can't be told it was a lie, or a misunderstanding, and that god doesn't exist, or is different from our history lessons.

I estimated a 50 year plan, starting with slow integration of the idea. First hints at the idea we are not the center of the universe. Other planets may contain life, confirmed vaugly by science, but not so certain as to topple the churches.

We start seeing aliens in fiction, and on radio plays, or TV. We test the market with a hoax radio show. Then, in television and movies and comics, aliens come in all shapes and sizes. Friendly and dangerous. We explore all sorts of possibilities in fantasy.

However, the act tames the idea. Through time, we begin to wonder if the stories could be true, and if maybe life does exist elsewhere. The next few generations will be expecting the news; the truth. ALready conspiracy theories abound online about the signs that this story may be true.

Almost demanding to be told a truth we want.

Not all of us of course. We're not ready to accept multiple God stories we can't prove. I am certain a new version would be unwelcome to many. Religion has never worked when you knew your neiughbour had a different story. We've always killed those we couldn't convert. We still do.

We still are.

They can't tell us yet, but the bfiction improves. Gets more detailed. Prepairs us for less humaolid aliens and more "out there" possibilities.

I think it was Sagan who said something like about there being more in the universe than we cam concieve, but doubly so. I wish I coulkd remember the quote, but if I zeppelin off to lok it up, I'l lose my train of thought. That's why editing exists I guess.

The second portion to this blogged opinion, and the inspiration for the writing, was that I sat down to watch the first episode of THE DRESDEN FILES, and it occured to me.

The exact same scenario can be played out for paranormal, and I encompass it all under the categeory of "the unknown that exists without proof". I guess that is a good example of faith. If I include everything from magic to phyicic powers (which includes a lot of its own categories), I would say that something beyond my knwoledge exists. It's clear.

At least, current pop culture and fiction is leaning me that way. Of the 10 or so prime time shows I enjoy this season, an alarming amount are based in this world.

Dead Zone
Ghost Whisperer
Medium
Physch
Dresen Files
Smallville (A stretch, but people have powers)

I may even have forgotten some. The world is trying its best to convince me this is real.

But slowly, without bothering the people who still need to believe it's bunk.

Smoke em if you watch em

2007-02-06T16:17:00.000-08:00

Wow. A lot of people smoked this week on TV. On Saturday Night live, at least three times. On Hero's, MAD TV, and on Studio 60. People I'd never seen smoking were smoking.

I wonder who paid who.

Last Comic Standing

2006-08-11T18:29:00.000-07:00

I liked Dat Phan. I'm surprised. I was ready to hate him in advance from 4 years ago. Wow. I can hold a grudge. But I'm pleased both in him, and my willingness to forgive, he impressed me.

I think he should have ended with the MySPace William Hung punchline, but overall I think he did a good solid, experiences set. Four years of comedy travel and experience better.

---

What's with Anthonly Clarke. He looked like a winner of "Who wants to host a show" amateur audition quality. The third judge who we're supposed to hate would have scredded him for his nervousness and fumbled lines. I counted 4 by the second side show--- err, I mean commedian.

Maybe he's being bad to make Jay Moore look good. I never thought he was great, but next to Anthony Clarke, Jay should win awards.

I guess making it look easy is never as easy as it looks.

---
I would have liked to see a few others from early Seasons 1 and 2.

---
I really liked John Hefron. He did some old stuff, but it was friendly familiar. An old friend, happily remembered... like why you used to go see Seinfeld. You knew the act, but it was still watching.

Fans hate the new songs at a rock concert. They're just a duty.

Hefron introduced a new bit about wetting himself when he put "it" away after every pee. He took great effort to say it family friendly, and the whole routine made me laugh with recognition and respect.

I do that.

A comic lives for the "I DO THAT" Applause. The inside joke, brought to life with success.

His routine was probably funny to the others who don't wet themselves when the pee too. That's good.

---
Here in Canada, the CH channel played commercials FOR THE SHOW YOU'RE WATCHING during the show. That always cracks me up when that happens.

I always think of my own commercial ideas at that point. They should sell me the "throw-away" spots during prime time.

---

Hehehe... Probably just a coincidence, but they showed the fat white women when the black comic came out. I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

---

Alonzo Boden went the political route, coming out against the sub-president.. like that is OK. He's not against Bush. Shot in the face jokes are old... 4 or 5 months old. John Hefron brought game. Dat Fan stepped it up. Alonzo was stable as I remember him.

He challenged the world, kids today vs... old stuff. I'm surprised he didn't mention lawn darts.

He wasn't bad in any way. He is a seasoned commedian, but he didn't wow me. He made me laugh, but I praised the others more deeply.

I liked his line; I already won... Nobody's voting for me.
---

The Jay Moore introduction seemed like a lost bet. The President, whoi has no presence for TV came out and almost apologized and kissed butt.

It seemed like part of some deal.

Ethnics didn't laugh when he made fun of the way they name their children. Cameras showed us some ethnics not laughing. That made me laugh. Payback is a bitch when you're an asshole - or percieved as one.

His projector routine was familiar and hilarious because of it.

What's with the JAY MOORE IS GAY addmission on live TV?

Mark the calendar. He came out on live NBC primetime.

I like that he apologized to Brian Adams.
I laiughed anyway, but felt bad.

---

Another Anthony Clarke fubb. This one he even talked about in case we didn't notice all the others.

Maybe he's nervous in front of the King. I always hate performing in front of people I knew.

---
Ty came out and told us he knows he lost, and he prefers it. Weird moment.

His act was slower than usual, but still professional. He made me laugh, frequently.

Ty got two of the TV's seven dirty words out live, but obviously bleeped. TV likes swearing and bleeping. It's a hit it seems. Like a rap song on FM radio that bleeps lyrcics. They're like a wink wink nudge nudge inside joke. You know what it is supposed to mean, so its almost better than the swear.

---

I think Ty is better than Josh, but I smile and laugh more at Josh because he's just a funny human. A worse commedian, but a fun personality.

---

Comercial Note: Deal of No Deal claims to base the money on a math formula designed to BUY OUT the contestant at the lowest amount.

They really should start lowering the amounts when the board still has lots of big money numbers showing. Going on is higher risk if you know the buy outs are going DOWN, not up. The poeople might give up earlier and the riskers will be more exciting.

Maybe not. Math is an exact science.

---
Josh isn funny. He's NOW. It feels more like a conversation with a fun guy than a routine. He makes jokes about our shared history, which was almost my favourite trick. He talks and makes us laugh. It's practicved and rehersed I'm sure, but it seems like he's my buuuuuuuudy.

He does it well. Gabrield at a small Vietnemese family. Dat fan's.

A good laugh.

He can NEVER get the mic back in the stand. IT's almost a regular bit -a trademark hook.

---
I don't know who said it first on TV, but vthis new "STARTS RIGHT NOW" thing is getting a bit tired... but at least use it right. If you say STARTS RIGHT NOW, don't say Goodnight everybody after it, and don't throw to a commercial.

Just like LOL has lost all meaning, and a standing ovation isn't what it used to be, help preserve the STARTS RIGHT NOW for things that START RIGHt NOW (See; Theory of NOW elsewhere)

I may be an old man thinking it was better iun my day, but thats part of life's cycle.

I'm still deciding if I liike change or not. Give me anotyher 20 years and I'll hate it.

Just like my daddy, and his daddy and his daddy.

Presumably.

I love my PVR

2006-06-25T10:32:00.000-07:00

One neat feature of my PVR than never gets credit is the scale that shows up and tells you what percentage of the show has been watched. Where you are, or more importantly, how far in did you jump, when changing channels. A movie may be worth watching, depending on how much you missed.

An easy bar graph helps me decide.

I can also hit INFO, and it'll list a few staring roles, and a plot summary. This is basically the same kind of info a printed TV listings would offer.

I'm old enough to say; "I remember when the TV listings were detailed for all 24 hours... not grids. Grids came out first as a nice summary, but quickly, a replacement.

Even the full guides started bundling Monday to Friday in one listing.

I choose not to use the literary famous quote about "them coming for me, and I did nothing"

But I couldn't resist.

I love my FAV button. It lets me scan 6 channels that are most likely to contain something worth watching... personalized.

I scan SPIKE, SPACE, COMEDY, DISCOVERY, TBS and STAR

If those don't stop me, I usually go to the PVR list.

The PVR list - Personal Video Recorder... think of it like an MP3 Player for TV shows. Its a list of all the ones my machine downloaded for me.

In other words, a free access version of all the shows I like, old and new. Being a PVR owner means never missing an episode of the shows you like.

Your TV life changes, because you watch whenever you want, and you never miss an episode. You become a SHOW watcher instead of a TV watcher. You watch a few pilots, and pick your favourites.

Then, each week you have them all to choose from. Sometimes I'm in the mood for a HOUSE or BOSTON LEGAL, and sometimes I'm in the mood for Kathy Griffin's Life on the D-LIST or BIG BROTHER and sometime Star Trek.

It becomes easy to try new shows. Just pick them from the TV listings, up to a week ahead, and then watch them later, with the FAST FORWARD in hand. You can delete it at any time, and then watch something else.

You don't have to start watching shows at 7pm sharp, or 8pm, or 9pm.

If you come home at 7:58 because you need to catch Survivor, you may pass on out on away the shopping till the first commercial break. With a PVR you, you can do stuff anytime, with paused TV, just like a VCR or DVD.

You can even pause LIVE TV while you're watching it.

Pausing isn't just for running off to perform some food related activity. It's for the phone callers who don't respect the synchronization of phone calls and commercials - the nerve.

It's for anything. The baby's first words are THAT'S HOT needs a pause.

The cat falling in the snake pit. That demands a pause.

Sometimes the pause is required just to explain what you've just seen to a friend or older relative who keeps asking who that man is.

Or which hobbit is on which team.

I often need to pause, just for a break. A mental nap and recap.

...and to go get a water. I have since installed a fridge nearer the TV.

Take a water - leave a water.

The next best feature you'll become addicted to once you've lived with it for a while. The rewind, or preset 10 second recap.

The best friend of those who think they may be A.D.D.

What the hell was that? If you've ever thought that, or the Christian safe version using HECK or less - then the 10n second recap, or rewind if your best friend. I've used it 10 times in a row till I heard a crucial mumbled phrase or two.

---WOW ALERT--

SCAM! SCAM! SCAM!

I was just watching TV LIVE... and a commercial came on that yelled so loud I had to watch. It was a pitchman selling a scam.

A huge money making, 100% legal scam.

Hmmm... I got a chance to watch it again. A well timed perfect example of the power of the PVR. I was able to copy it to the hard disk and output it as a FLASH file. (Remember, this was LIVE TV I was watching Sunday afternoon at 2pm)

ON first watching, I heard the pictures talk about the Sony PlayStation, but the prize listed as a "game station", which could mean, a $19.00 knockoff.The $2 ticket price per entry was soft spoken at the start of the commercial. I surmised that this scam was going to make THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS in one day, from kids who think they're winning a PlayStation, and have no clue what it's costing.

Till the bill arrives.

When I watched it a second time, they did say YOU COULD WIN A PLAYSTATION, but it wasn't directly linked to the call as a ballot... so I'm not sure.

I rewound it again, and discussed the commercial with a friend. I learned only the third time, when a casual PAUSE happened to allow me to read the trust contest may require a $4.00 per week commitment, and can only be cancelled on the Internet. I hope you saw the http://text4win.com and wrote it down in the 3 seconds it was illegible at the bottom of the screen.

The text message is not you ballot.

This particular commercial was placed at the end of the hour on a TV show almost certainly being watched by families. The key demographic of the WANTS and The PAYS FOR together.

Not so much a scam, as evil. Breaking our trust in commercials the way they did with SPAM.

The Internet has trained me to not trust any contests or requests for money anymore. I'm still undecided if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

It's a problem that much of society relies on basic trust, and that same society is allowing trust to be crushed and destroyed more and more each day. Crushing trust should be among the highest crime. It is a crime against people, but a huge blow to the national moral and morals. (sic)

If I ever win a contest, and will be notified by email, I'll never know I won. That upsets me, but that's a whole other zeppelin.

I now resume my TV watching, right where I left off, almost 30 minutes ago.

First, I fast Forward past the commercials.

The bar meter at the bottom of the screen tells me I didn't miss much. It was over anyway. I click LIVE and start all over again.

America has talent

2006-06-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

We've proven we like to watch odd people make a living or an art out of being crazy, and talented.

Everyone makes their mark.

I just watched a guy snap his fingers to Wipeout.
I said cool.

David Hasselhoff, Brandi, and they guy we're going to hate from another country agreed.

The snappist looks foreign, but talks American. I wonder if that just works better for him. People expect off talents from the Europeans.

The Horn guy can make a living at fairs, but he ain't no finger snapper.

Cruel waited till the second guy. The British dude was over the top mean.

Some people get through KNIWUBG they have no chance. Horn guy is good enough for TV to give him a bio and week 2. It'll change his life. That's the cool thing I guess. We may never see people again, but at their end of their life, it's never the same again.

Of course, this is nothing new, just modern. It's the 2006 version of THE GONG SHOW, but formulized to the Idol format because it's hot. Ed sullivan and every other variety show since TV was black and white.

Odd sells, and odd good is mind boggling. I am always amazed at watching odd and spectacular talent. I won't say I seeked it out, but have seen a fair share, in TV and in person.

People go on this show with no dream of winning. Just the dream of being on TV.

15 minutes of fame is more alive today than ever.

Moses Znimaer knew it years ago. The future of TV is the viewing public as the audience and content, at least a little. 15 seconds on TV is all it can take, to point a life in a new direction.

Bad acts and good acts. Fame can come fast today, because obscure fanship is a great way to create an individual way to stand out. Picking someone to be a fan of is as unique as fashion. IT helps define you. You can be a fan of the regulars... the presets if you will Hollywood creates for the masses, or you can pick you own favourite, and create a myspace page of worship.

If you're on TV, you can be an underdog to watch... like a stock. Everyone loves to be a fan before the masses. Seinfeld lost some of it;'s charm when EVERYONE loved it. A few of us, remember the days of the Chronicles when only a select few were fans.

I was a Ren and Stimpy fan from episode #1.

If appearances like Sid the Kid, and that 4 boy, boy band are any indication, you know they have web sites and fan pages already. They have fame, at a manageable level.

This black 8 year old memorizes lines well. There is NO WAY it was self written... does that not disqualify him - or her. Oh.. her. Very funny set, but she isn't writing it.

Good TV. Family demographic and a huge role model to 8 year olds everywhere.

Making singing 8 year olds is so last year.

New hope and a new "way out of the ghetto - or playground" is vital.

The message: being weird CAN be ok and cool.

Why on earth was the juggler given a minute... and then to come back? What the hell? He was horrible. I have seen a mil;lion jugglers, and almost every time, they're fresh and new and hilarious and awesome.

The only thing I can think of is this: Instantly, when watching this, a million jugglers all acrfoss North America simultaniously said or thought; What the hell? I am better than that".

The show needs to inspire with hope. You CAN BE BETTER than that... and next season is 3 months away.

Juggling is a logical choice... the gateway talent. Part way between novelty, and art.

I love watching an original juggling act. Right back to Harry Anderson, up to the thousands of nameless artists who have entertauined me over the years.

Juggling... the unknown artist sport

I hope we see some of them on this show.

Anticipation brings me back.

I think this show will get ok reviews. They'll attack the judges, but the formula format is sound, and the talent is more watchable than music. A much wider fan base that spans the trash to the class. Jerry Spinger fans and West Wing watchers will come together to watch American talent.

Or hope.

Or denial.

All equally fun to watch.

The next act was a very European style act with mini horses. The crowd wanted the gong, but the judges must have had a deal.

It was the kind of show I'd see at Toronto's Caravan (multi-culture celebration)

The audience booed. Yikes. I know how hard it is to go on a stage and be rejected. Crushing.

Regis saved the spot. I'd love to know he writes his own stuff. I want to believe he does, so I won't research it.

I'd like to see more of these guys in movies... or on tour.

Talent tours are not freak shows.

Not after tonight, anyway.

I didn't even want to comment on the male stripper.

I find it hard to believe he actually stripped.
He'll do well after today.

But I don't understand why they voted yes. They gonged him.

Next up with have the 14 year old Whitney. This isn't the venue for her future, but it'll make her a hit at weddings till somebody else calls to be her agent.

It does show one thing. If American Idol contestants had THAT kind of firt impression, the show would be different. She's auditioning fully produced... We'll see her again.

We also got a chance to see the first hint of the judges planned battles. Hasslehof yelled in Brandi's ear and she seemed upset. We'll have updates as this progresses.

SOmething about this show seems to produced. It feels more like entertainment than a contest. I wouldn't be surprised if in 10 years, it's common knowledge that the first decade of the new milenium was known for the reality TV scam. It never existed. The entire thing was just TV, scripted like everything else.

Or at least some... or most...

It's all in the percentages.

Ventriliqiists are like jugglers. I love a good original act. I bow to them to be original with an age old concept. THis guy was my new favourite. Funnier than jalepenops on a stick.

I loved him.

In fact, I ALMOST don't ebleiev it

And then they debate whether he's through... I'd be floored if he didn't.

Heheheh... He makes an age joke, and gets points? A "joke" about being old isn't really point-worthy, especially if you follow it up with pointing it out.

Brandi has voted herself the vote headmaster, so she never has to say No. She gets the others to make the majority. Sneaky.

Next up is an Arnold Impressionist. When I saw these the first time, we were mocking them on Last Comic Standing as the signature impression of hacks.

He is not even funny at a bar.

He is a little crazy. Ed the Sock would destroy him.

Next up was thye kind of act that doesn't get much call around here. Vegas maybe, but apart from shows like this, balancing is not an oly,mpic sport.

It is cool however. Cirque de Soley might hire him.

I bet he doesn't speak English anyway, so the comments were lost.

I'm jealous. Ever since I was a kid, balance is the one talent I wish I'd had. I use the word talent intentionally. I didn't think skill fit. People like this guy have a talent I don't. The guys who can balance a chair on their chin, or 2 dozen glasses amaze me. I can't keep a yardstick on my finger for a minute.

I've tried.

Every time I have a yardstick in my hand.. or similar objects, I try to balance them, and when they fail, I sigh wishing I could do that.

I don't know why. IT just always acted as a reminder that we are not all created equal, and who you are has a lot to do with who you were at conception.

In a million years, we're different species. I just don't have my tail yet.

But that's a zeppelin for another day.

When we talk about role models and an option other than crime for a future, team arobit baseketball artists is a sure winner. Globtrotters EXTREME for 2006. That may start a trend as big as snowbording.

CLIPPED! They clipped somnething Britisg Guy said to them about the Globtrotters... he was negative, and they cut it out.

Maybe he mentioned doing well outside the contest, and that seems to be a sad rule none of these shows breaks.

Tiptoe through the nose was rude. Too bad. His purpose was to let Branbdi make her announcement.

He didn't need to be mean and crazy.
I missed that one. Somebody made the decision.

I don't usually like to rant about commercials in the middle of a show notes session because you probably didn't see the same commercioals as I did, but if you say Met Life's IF commercial, you'll know how cool it was. I liked it.

I enjoy a good commercial. I don't even mind SPAM.

I just wish I could trust SPAM, and I can't. Every messages lies to me. That's what I hate about SPAM.

If SPAM could be true, I'd be a well hung home owning work at home multi millionaire.

I wanted Betty Victor to be good. Up till the first note, you didn't know. You want to believe old people are not crazy.

This one is crazy, and not a lovable crazy. Just old and crazy.

Brandi got out of saying No again.

The befant Sisters appear at JUST FOR LAUGHS I think.. or maybe that's a god act these guys ripped off poorly.

The juggler got booed, despite being better by far than the first bad one. He was a good juggler to watch at a party, but not the kind of original juggler I was talking about above. The kind you stand up for, and still only pay a loonie or two.

I guess they HAD to let him through... to fight and discuss WHY some don't go through.

Hasselhoff pulls out an UDDER pun when voting no to the dancing cow.

I laughed out loud when the black Gospel singer came out and tried to get the multi-racial audience stand up and gospel dance. White people felt obligated, but they didn't exactly know what to do... so the camera quickly looked for any group of black people to point at.

I don't think he's good looking enough to be a success.

Beyond the change for him and his Church.

But his web site will get some hits.

The next juggler was closer to my expectations.

Lots of people can juggle and impress you, but some are " a whole nuther level" to quote a Mad TV character.

Two animal acts came and went. Publicity for their zoo show career

In perfect production, the second act justified complaining about the first act. There is pet training, and then wow entertainment with trained pets. #2 goes through, #1 may even have to concede.

I liked the balloon guy. He may not be the winner, but he's better than the guy at my birthday party.

I don't think wrappin granny is on that level. She's impressive, but not over the top we call talent. I don't like her voice tone. Nobody would buy her CD, even if they laugh at her on stage as a novelty.

I'm also upset that the name Wrappin' Granny was a long time character from the Howard Stern Show... Not her... the original wrappin granny.

I certainly don't think she's what the show is all about. She may be an inspiration for bored grannies, but come on... You wouldn pay to see her.

Well.. that was it... till next week.

Treasure Hunt

2006-06-18T17:26:00.000-07:00

Notes...

What's with the host that speaks like a computerized voice? He's more choppy than a bad William SHatner impression.

Every show like this has people saying; "This is the toughest thing I ever did in my life" and they usually say it in the first 5 minutes of the show, long before it gets tough.

The product placement for cell phones was by Motorola Razr, but there is no way a Razor cell phone would work in either Alaska or the m iddle of the ocean... and it certainly isn't giving us video of the host.

ASK.COM paid for a nice plug, buit nobody got to use it for Morse Code. I wonder why.

Nice mullet. His buddy drives a limo and they don't tell us what he does. I guess coke dealer wouldn't go well on prime time.

The show is called Treasure Hunters, and we're told the clues will be tough... yet they seem to give up quickly.

This show is bad.

Canadian Idol

2006-06-06T17:37:00.000-07:00

I wonder if everyone is coached to be happy...
Most starving artists aren't. On LAST COMIC STANDING, everybody is homeless, depressed and NEED success. On Idol, they're happy and optimistic and want success.

Canadian Idol isn't on when its demographic meet in school the next day. It's a summer show. I wonder if that hurts or helps it. It sure helps the Internet, which becomes the watercooler.

I wonder how life changes for ANY teenager when they're seen on IDOL.
Do kids that got teased before... Still get teased?

Simon may be kind by comparison.

I've still seen all the commercials!

2006-05-31T17:25:00.001-07:00

I'm a perfect example of a guy who loves his PVR. You may know it as the brand name TiVo...

I watch hardly any TV live at the time it was shown. I record almost everything and watch it later.

I do this more than the average person.

The thing is, I've still seen all the commercials. Hardly any are new to me. I can't quite explain why. I fast forward past most of them, but as they wiz by on visual high speed, I don't see any I haven't seen before.

I never minded commercials really. As a person with A.D.D, and a lover of snacks, commercials serve a valuable purpose to break the tension and attention, and allow a mental recap or diversion, and some chocolate or a Pringle.

What I dislike enough to comment, is the repetition, especially when the same ad plays more than once during the same commercial break. Its bad enough when a jingle is replayed at every break. Thats when the finger pushes the FF.

When I do see an ad I haven't, I tend to stop. I watch, and the wiz past the same Swifer ad I'd seen before.

So ads still work. EVen for PVR people like me. I see them, and see them again in double speed.

I buy the product.

I love PVRs, but I still see the commercials.

David Blane told crazy people it's OK to be crazy.

2006-05-09T17:18:00.000-07:00

David Blane just told me it wasn't my fault I want to kill myself, and I can't help being a Daredevel.

Persoanly, I'm not - so I ignored his advice, but if I was a member of this "Jackass" culture of fame via stupoidity where a guiy falling off a roof can be the most watched video of the week, outnumbering the most popular daytime TV shows.

More people watch YouTube than The West Wing.

David Blane just told a whole generation of attention craved video editors, that taking crazy risks is cool. Chicks love being barried alive.

This may not have been the words he used, but he did stand there and Evil Kenevil said the words. People like you (meaning Blane) and I can't help it.

Impressionable Youth.

Cool is cool. Bad is bad.

TV TEACHES US

2006-04-29T18:49:00.000-07:00

I watched LAS VEGAS This week, and I saw a life lesson. How to NOT say YES when somebody engages, and not end in a fight.

Thanks.

Big Selection Lessons Shared Memories

2006-04-29T18:12:00.000-07:00

I'm 42. WHen I talk to other 42 year olds, we can sing Gilligan's Island and Green Achres themes together with a smile. When I watched TV as a child there were 3 Canadian TV Stations, and 4 US Stations from Buffalo.

Today, there are hundreds of stations to choose from. Kids won't have the same memories.

But some will, and in a crowd when you make a joke or lines from Thet 70's Show or Saturday Night Live, someone will laugh. Fall in love and marry that person.

Have you bent spagetti yet?

2006-04-29T15:17:00.000-07:00

I just watched this week's NUMBERS, and was inspired to write.

This episode, Charlie seems to be talking even more math mumbo than normal. Myself, along with the main characters seem to be getting on the brink of irritation. We'll all gone past the point of caring, and we tune out the mumbo till he finishes talking, and then we expect the remedial version using some real world simple example.

In the end, he turns to his brother and asks if he knew you could never bend a piece of spaghetti into two pieces. It will always break into three or more.

He gives a brief history of the discovery of this phenomenon with a light anecdote fragment, followed by some named principle or theory.

His brother asks; What's the point", expecting the example to some how make total sense in context of a case or situation, and Charlie answers; Sometimes there is no point. Sometimes you just bend spaghetti.

From that moment, I wanted to Blog the instant in time. An origin of as personal nature happened.

I know for the rest of my life, that will stay with me. If I am ever in a kitchen and chance happens spaghetti to be within my reach, I may recite it, passing it on to each new generation like I do with the "you can't fold paper 8 times" story or "elephants are the only animal with 4 knees" tidbit I pull out of the air whenever useless trivia is discussed socially.

TV makes me smile when I see the bits of social learning thrown in. Sometimes its nice when TV gives us something to talk about the next day, but remember forever. Sometimes its a life lesson, but every now and then it's a single line, or an interesting visual trick about spaghetti.

The kicker for me, was the follow up a scene or two later, thrown in to make me do a second smile, because they matched my thinking perfectly. As I was pondering the Blog entry where this TV show scene made me happy, but I envisioned thousands of people all over the world doing the same thing. I could imagine people jumping off their couch to the Kitchen to try the theory out for themselves. I even imagined that people wouldn't believe it. I believe in my hart that I can snap spaghetti in two, I just have to bend faster.

Charlie is talking to his brother, scolding him for his attempt to SNAP the spaghetti, not bend it.

I laughed.

Now I may go downstairs to the kitchen, try to bend a few, and tell somebody else about it.

I bet you will too.

THE SOUP

2006-04-18T16:33:00.000-07:00

I'm only starting with this show because it happens to be the one I'm watching now... and I saw some things worth commenting on.

Cybersmack has a TM and Joel mentioned it. Trademarked. Am I allowed to mention it by name? They either bought it, or must be proud they came up with that word and found it not in use. I find that hard to believe. I probably should have Googled it before writing, to see how unique and un-used the word is.

I don't know if it happens to you, but I can assume I'm not special. You'll be watching some show, and the people on TV get it wrong. They either don't get a joke, or don't see something that seems obvious to you. This happened during the Bonus Cybersmack on this week's THE SOUP (on E! and Star! network in Canada).

Its a weekly version of the show I liked called TALK SOUP, which vanished for a while. Essentially, it's a TV version of what I hope this blog can become, except they have a team of writers and a network, and I have a keyboard. Joel comes out in front of a green screen and does his bits. He reviews, recaps, reminds and mocks, bits from the week's previous television.

It's a great way to see bits you missed, on show's you're glad you don't watch, like Tony Danza's daytime talk show. When they do show a segment from a show you do watch, it's extra cool, because they either saw something you didn't think was funny the first time, or they re-affirm a gag you laughed at. Either way, I enjoy the entertainment. In a way, it's replacing the water cooler, next day at work chat you and your friends might be having at the office or store, where I don't work. Joel is my TV chat buddy... once a week. He gets the same stupidity on Survivor that I do, and laughs at idiots like I do.

Now, this blog allows me to rant about the shows I watch, and I don't care if it finds an audience or not.

But I digress... and you'll get used to that. It was a contender for the name of this blog actually. I tend to go off topic frequently.

The Cybersmack video was a man doing a head-stand against a concrete half wall, and another friend bashing his private area with some bat-like object that crushed into dust.

Everyone goes Woooooooo... in much the same way you would if you saw somebody getting hit in the privates with a bat... only this is clearly not what is happening in the video. I used the words "private area" above intentionally. The bat hits the wall, and dissolves. My guess is the guy's parts were not touched.

Good video, but not Whoo worthy in today's world where stupid people hurt themselves on film daily. Try harder next time E! Maybe keep the Cybersmack segments to one per show. YOUTUBE (your sponsor partner) does it so much better. Enter "ball bashing" and better clips probably pop up.

I should probably do some research before I start to write.

WE CHANGED THAT... WAS THAT A DISCLAIMER?

The other thing I noticed in the episode was they mentioned they doctored videos more than once. Is this something they've been told - or asked to do, or is this self regulating. Dumb people watch TV. I guess they don't want to get sued by Disney when dumb people call or write to complain that Kermit the Frog was an asshole while replacing Ty Pennington.

When I see Jimmy Kimmel say that after EVERY clip they fake, I'll know it's another change in TV, catering to the dumb. Remedial Mode.